Saturday, 13 April 2013

Am I really, though?

There’s been something on my mind. It was lurking in the darkest corners of my unconsciousness and crept up on me when I wasn’t paying attention; always a dangerous thing that, taking your eye off the ball. It never occurred to me that it would burn or that once the words had tumbled onto the screen they would sting. You might be wondering what could have got me quite so rattled. Well, ponder no more, I can tell you that my nerves have been jangled by my last, and first, blog post. Not all of the post, that would be quite exhausting, just a very teeny-tiny portion. Most of the words fell out of my consciousness as soon as they tumbled onto the screen but three little words remained imprinted on my mind: I am infertile. Just to be clear, in case you’re still confused, it really only one of those words that seems to be bothering me. To be completely precise, which is always the best way I feel, just three small syllables: In-fer-tile.

Prior to my last post, I don’t think I have ever said, typed or even thought that I might really be infertile. I know, I know, after 2 years, six months and no babies I might have got the message but, really, I hadn’t. After the opening gambit of my first blog entry spelt it out so crisply, I couldn’t get the thought out of my head – am I infertile? Maybe I am, maybe I’m not - I just wasn’t one hundred per cent sure. Perhaps I am just a little bit sub-fertile, or possibly, just a touch below par in the fertility stakes. I desperately needed to find some clarity. Well, dear reader, we already know that I am not an A grade student in the baby making class but am I in a completely new category?

As with most unanswerable questions in my life, I went to the only water-tight, fool-proof resource I know, the infertile lady’s friend, the World Wide Web and here’s what I found;

The National Institute of Clinical Excellence (NICE) in the UK have published guidelines which define infertility as “failure to conceive after regular unprotected sexual intercourse for 2 years in the absence of known reproductive pathology”.

Oh dear, this wasn’t looking good. I have definitely passed that entrance exam to the infertility club, at least that is, to be included in the United Kingdom’s gang. Hmmm…..not good enough for me…… I needed to expand my search and go further afield. Well, just to be thorough, I went global and turned to the World Health Organisation (WHO) for some concrete answers. Surely the clever bods over in Geneva would solve this tricky conundrum for me. Let’s take a look at what they’ve got to say on the subject; the WHO defines infertility as “the failure to conceive following twelve months of unprotected intercourse”. Blimey, it’s not better, it’s worse; I’ve aced that test several times over!

So, I’m satisfied I have my answer; I am a proper, no doubt about it, infertile lady. Turns out, it’s not so bad. In fact, I’m feeling liberated; released from my confusion and desperation of the endless baby-making attempts and justified in my quest for a medical solution. And, as those handy bods at the WHO tell me, I’m not alone; worldwide infertility affects between 50 and 80 million people. Phew, that’s an awful lot of us.

Note: this blog post was updated on 21 Apr 2013 to include links.


  1. It is quite strange to write it out for the first time. It's a lot to take in. I remember I felt pretty uncertain, confused, and a mixture of disappointment and relief when I realized there was something medically wrong. But there is hope and treatment! And yes, you are definitely not alone (sadly, but it is comforting).
    You are taking all of the right steps in a positive direction. :-) Blogging is one of those steps! Would you like help finding followers or other blogs?

  2. Hey Lisa, thanks for this comment too. Yes, it is such a wierd one to come to terms with.
    Yes, I would really love some help finding other followers and other blogs! Thank you so much for your offer of help. Any other tips you can throw my way would be great too. I only just worked out how to add the "subscribe by email" feature this morning and I am not sure if that is the same as following or not!
    I can't tell you how grateful I am of you suppoprt.

  3. You are very welcome! :-) I've been blogging for a long time and have learned so much through all of the wonderful people I've met. The best way to gather followers is to comment on other people's blogs. Then, they will most likely come and visit your blog in return.

    There's also a monthly activity (one week out of every month) called "ICLW" - International Comment Leaving Week. You can find other bloggers and let them find you by leaving comments on each others blogs. It's great! I've formed some wonderful bonds with ladies I met while doing that activity. I will give you that link so you can read about it. There's also a big list of blogs you can check out, so even if you don't participate, you can still find more blogs that interest you.
    Use this link (copy and paste it into your browaser) -

    Now for some blogs I like:
    "Just T" -

    "Where The *bleep* is Our Stork?" -

    "Stupid Stork" -

    "The Adventures of an Infertile Myrtle" -

    "Fertility Doll" -

    Those are just a few to get you started. :-) Enjoy!

  4. Oh, and try to find your "Followers" feature to add onto your page. It's different than the email option. I don't use blogger (I use wordpress), so I don't know how to direct you to it.

  5. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lisa! If I wasn't so far away I might kiss you. Well, maybe too much, at least a hug for sure! Those links will certainly keep me busy. I had a quick look for the "followers" feature but couldn't find it but I did find out how to complete the about me section and add a picture. Oh, it is such exciting times. Thanks again.

  6. Aww, you're so sweet! :-) And hugs right back to you! I am happy to help!